Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Vanilla fudge

An out of thee box solution that requires unexpected in depth development. Often mistaken as a miracle cure for a business requirement. To be avoided at all costs.

Peace pirate

Individual who is hell bent on destroying a situation. Source: from 'one who stole the peace'. Most obvious at times of low caffeine as agitated state becomes apparent.

Conference caddy

A colleague who ensures that you come out of a tricky vocational situation without suffering any collateral damage. Much sort after and hard to find. Must spend time to nurture these individuals and be prepared to stand in the line of fire in return.

Roundabout tactics

Talking a subject round and round until agreement is given out of submission from other parties.

Zimmer blame

A tendency to insist that the solution to the problem is to install new technologies. The assumption being that old tech is the cause of a problem.

Jellyfish

A task that comes back to sting you just as you think the worst has passed. Usually a one off swipe rather than a repeating niggle.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Dinner-time

Dinner-time: time taken out of the working day spent specifically updating Linke'dIn' profile. This activity is most prevalent during periods dissatisfaction and frustration.

Meeting Sponge

Meeting Sponge: Any person at a meeting that can drain the life source from the gathering. Has been known to bring enthusiastic and productive departments to their knees and render them useless, try to avoid at all costs.

Desk Jockey

Desk Jockey: A person who plays music at their desk without due consideration for others and broadcasting restrictions. This can be especially detrimental to moral when the perpetrator has a liking for Irish Boy bands.

Numbchuck

Numbchuck: An individual who is so immersed in technology they loose the power to communicate with other real people. Origin: A play on words with a Wii controller device.

Normaler

Normaler: One who has NOT been tainted by the need of communicating via office phraseology and 'lingo'. Usually obvious because they talk in language that can be understood and does not lead to confusion or being misled. Origin: quite simply a derivative of normal.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Head Squeezer

Head Squeezer: An outside influence that distorts understanding of what needs to be achieved to complete a task.Origin: from the feeling of unnecessary pressure applied that can manifest itself in explosive language.